From Home Movies
Episode 304, originally aired October 20, 1999
Pacey: Like, oh my God, go team! Haa … Haa!
Joey: For a minute, I thought you'd been possessed by these school spirit creatures from planet overzealous.
Pacey: Not quite yet, but I am thinking about making a run for it before the pods hatch. What do you say Scully?
Joey: Cut class with you? Sounds delectable. I'll pass.
Pacey: What if I told you that there were a mission to my madness?
Joey: Are you serious?
Pacey: But of course! The monsieur in the stylish shirt requests the presence of the Madame for a very pressing appointment. Yeah?
Joey: What is it?
Pacey: Well that would be the surprise part.
Joey: Just tell me Pacey.
Pacey: Let me think about that-nope.
Joey: Well fine. You won't tell me then I'm not going anywhere.
Pacey: Oh little Joey, you are so cute. But friend to friend, honestly, you should check into more of those feigning disinterest classes.
Joey: No thanks. But trust me Pacey, I couldn't care less.
Pacey: Well, OK. Whether or not you're actually interested, you have about ten seconds to make up you mind after I round that corning, starting now. One … two … three … four (he just rounds the corner…Joey gives a 'what the hell' look and turns around to follow Pacey) Six seconds? Six? I mean, C'mon, have you no pride? I though you'd last at least eight.
Joey: I loathe you.
Joey: This isn't a surprise, Pacey, it's a death march on a deserted road.
Pacey: We're almost there.
Joey: Why didn't we just drive?
Pacey: Because, Potter, on occasion my pop actually likes to use his car.
Joey: So I risk my future to cut class so I could stand in line at the postoffice and then traipse five miles through the wilderness carrying some stupid package?
Pacey: Oh, God. You know, did you ever stop to think about how much hormonally charged energy you waste on these quick quips and the biting banter? Your life would be considerably more productive if you would just take some more, ah … oh, what is that? More, ah … action! If you took more action.
Joey: Oh, what, like voluntary manslaughter?
Pacey: Well how 'bout like sticking out your thumb, huh?
Joey: Oh yeah? And what else? Maybe hike up my skirt, pout my lips, strike some sexy pose for some horndog trucker? Stick out your own thumb you sexist toad.
Pacey: I am not a sexist, I am a pragmatist. OK? You ever seen "A Sure Thing?" That movie elegantly portrays one of life's simple truths-that a female standing on the side of a road, even one with a perpetual scowl like yourself, has a better chance of flagging down a car than a guy.
Joey: Since I'm the only one here with an opposable thumb, I guess it's up to me to use it.
Pacey: And here's you chance.
Joey: Hi …
Principal Green: Today is your lucky day Miss Potter, need a ride *back* to school?
Pacey: Oh! Principal Green. Whoo! Thank God you were here. In preparing for out botany assignment it appears Josephine and I wandered significantly farther away from the school than we had anticipated. Frankly, I was beginning to worry that we weren't going to make it back by nightfall.
Principal Green: That's a good one, Pacey.
Pacey: Yeah, well, you know, let it never be said that I'm lacking in the creativity department.
Principal Green: Let's hope you're not lacking the calamine lotion department either. Now put down the poison oak and get your butts in my car.
Pacey: After you Josephine.
Principal Green: Now, since Mr Witter's attempt at lying to me was so creative, I've some up with a little creative response in kind.
Pacey: Well, coming from a just-minded soul as yourself, I'm sure your punishment will be nothing but fair, sir.
Joey: Well thank you, Eddie Hascall.
Pacey: Where is your school spirit Josephine?
Joey: I think I left it cowering in the bushes.
Pacey: Now that is a gross misconception. I hurled myself upon the flames of responsibility.
Joey: I hope a deer tick crawled in your ear and laid eggs.
Principal Green: Enough. Honestly, I am not sure how to get through to the two of you. But since you obviously have an affinity with one another, here's what I have in mind. (opens box)
Joey: No way.
Pacey: Oh, that's not gonna happen.
Principal Green: Oh, I'm glad to see we're all in agreement here.
Pacey: Just think of it as method acting.
Joey: Think of it as out of the question.
Pacey: I'll flip you for it.
Joey: Not a chance.
Joey: Forget it.
Pacey: Fine. I'll just cut to the chase and beg you … please Joey, please, please, please don't me go out there.
Joey: Pacey. Look. I am supposed to be at work right now earning much needed money, but instead, because of you, I'm standing on a football field fighting over the rear end of a mule.
Pacey: Fine, fine. I'm just giving you fair warning.
Pacey: Well I tend to get a little car sick in back seats.
Joey: This is it? This is the surprise?
Pacey: Isn't she beautiful?
Joey: Yeah, in a Titanic, post-iceberg sort of way. Where did you get this?
Pacey: A friend of my brothers, he works down at the marina. He rescued her after the last hurricane. The guy who owned it didn't want her any more, so I convinced him to sell it to me for like, two hundred bucks. When I finish with this boat it is going to be sheer perfection. Look at that.
Joey: Pacey, do you know how much money and time it will take to even get this boat to float.
Pacey: Yeah. Not a minute more or less than as long as it takes me. You watch Potter, in a couple of months I'll be sailing this baby around the world.
Joey: I hate to break it to you Captain Stubing, but you can't sail around the world in a twenty foot boat.
Pacey: Sure I can.
Joey: Where are you going to put the supplies?
Pacey: Hey, the USS Minnow was no bigger than this, and they found room for all of Mr Hallow's money, all the professor's tools, all of Ginger's clothes and … where do you think you're going?
Joey: Permission to come aboard.
Pacey: Permission granted.
Joey: Thank you. Ah.
Pacey: Now the purpose for our fore into truancy What do you say?
Joey: True Love?
Pacey: Yeah, it's my girl's name. Kind of on the smallish factor, huh?
Joey: Acutely. But sweet.
Pacey: Now remember, I told you I needed your help for something.
Joey: With what?
Pacey: Start sanding.
Joey: You are so overboard.